In SAA we use the term abstinence. When we admit that we are powerless over our addictive sexual behavior, we accept that we cannot behave in certain ways. These behaviors are very compelling before we do them, but afterward they leave us feeling shameful, remorseful, empty and craving. We call these behaviors acting out. Abstinence does not mean giving up sex. That is celibacy. We don't give up our healthy sexual expressions; we give up acting-out: compulsive, painful and destructive behaviors.
Feelings of attraction are an aspect of being "triggered." If this is the case for you, be gentle with yourself; many of us have experienced it. With the support of your group and your higher power you will find that you do not need to act out over this attraction.
If this is your first time at a mixed gender SAA meeting, you will probably notice immediately, as you look around the room, that you are a minority. You may, in fact be the only woman in the room. Please be aware that you are in the right place. The fact that there are few other women in the room does not mean that you don't fit in, that you couldn't possibly be a sex addict, or that this program can't work for you. Women are here, just in different rooms. We recommend you obtain all of the literature and read it. You are not alone!
You have a right to refuse hugs and to be selective about hugs. It is perfectly all right to accept a hug from one member, shake hands with another and avoid all physical contact with a third. Trust your intuition; you have the right to say no.